Link: https://app.frame.io/presentations/4cc249db-b83f-4969-a935-f165e80138c0

Net Feedback:

• Really good. Tone is great, imagery is mostly right, music is awesome. Crushed a first draft.

Nitpicks:

1. I don’t really like this font. Asking my designer for feedback, but anything on this website we can model after? https://trydojo.ai/

   

2. “First, everything around us changed.” Add a period in text. I feel like music might be too loud here. Also, can we change the inflection a little bit? I’ll record a sample and send it over iMessage.

3. Really nit-picky, but I don’t like this frame.

   

4. Can we sub this for a spreadsheet or a presentation instead of code?

   

5. “Then, we changed” - make it “W” lower case. Also change inflection here (will send over a sample)

   

6. On “Then, we changed” → the tone we are trying to build here is sadness. Dispair. Pain. Computers are OWNING us, instead of us commanding them. You got this right with the guy looking exhausted + girl scrolling tiktok. The Steve Jobs overlay makes this seem optimistic, which we want to save the the last epoch (Now they work for us). I

7. “Now, they work for us.” Add text here. Also different inflection here. Will record iMessage.

   

8. Logo Tag-Line

1. Music at end cuts of a little suddenly. Let’s make sure we close that on an “even tone”